There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
BRING THE BAGELS
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
