UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
