We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
