it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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