If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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