Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
