i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
