you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
