office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize