and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
