Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
