North Korea, Best Korea!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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