So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
