I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
