i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
