Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
