You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
