I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
