On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
