Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
