dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
