Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
