If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it because I queefed?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
