Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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