So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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