I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
