I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
