I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
they're like a gay fantastic four
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
