if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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