I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
