dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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