I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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