Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
