$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
