sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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