Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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