My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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