I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize