How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
