Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
