We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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