chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
