I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
