yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
