I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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