Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
