Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
