I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
