So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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