So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
