His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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