i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
whose parrot is this?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize