I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
