Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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