dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
