he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
