no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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