just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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