New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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