everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
