We're facebook friends in real life
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
