I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
