About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
