he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
