Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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