# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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