As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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