five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize